World Autism Day!

Since it is World Autism Awareness day and well month, I thought I’d share a little insight of how our journey with communication is going.

Most of you follow us on social media and I’m constantly sharing our great moments with Danny’s progress through our videos; however, I wanted to step back and take a look at where we started in this journey in comparison to where we are today.

June 20th 2017– One of our very first therapy appointments (we may have had a few prior to this day) in home with our special instructor through the (EI), Early Intervention Program. Danny was about 20 months old. A ‘typical 20 month old’ should have a spoken vocabulary of 12-15 words. For Danny, he had none. I wasn’t able to get an answer from him if he was hungry or thirsty, or if he was tired, if he wanted “more” of something. It was very hard for both of us not having that communication. He would get frustrated and so would I.

It wasn’t until about a few months ago, When Danny started to use the word “No” did i think to look back into his file to take a look around.

So at the beginning of our journey with the EI they asked me what goal I wanted to set for Danny. So here was my goal:

Daniel started to say “esh” for “Yes” within the past 12-18 months; even if he meant “No.” HOWEVER, Within the last few months, Danny started to say the word “No.”

It took nearly 3 years of constant modeling and hard work from Danny to say two simple words that usually come so easy to your typical child. Fellow parents of non-verbal children my message to you: DO NOT GIVE UP. Verbalize every object, every behavior, every action. Repetition is key for our kiddos. Each child moves at their own pace. Try not to beat yourself up; and most importantly, be patient.

Today, he has a whole vocabulary of single words. (Including “Dad!” And “Ma-E!”)💙 He recites the alphabet on repeat. His receptive language has taken off and he now points to what your asking of him as to where before he would either ignore me, get up and walk away, or throw whatever object or book I had in my hand.

Danny is the true definition of persevere. No matter how difficult of a challenge it is for Danny he does not give up. He has shown me that with patience and perseverance you can accomplish anything you put your mind to no matter how long it takes!

Gosh, that is only a hair of the accomplishments he has gained since my last “blog”. This past summer (Danny was 3- 3 1/2) we started potty training. This was a stage I was terrified of. I thought to myself, “How am I going to potty train Danny if he doesn’t speak to me? How will I know he has to use the potty?”

While going through training, I started to get clues of when he had to go. Obvious clues. Sometimes we’d make it to the bathroom in time; sometimes we wouldn’t. Every time Daddy or Mommy had to go either #1 or #2, we would run around the house, making it a big deal to get him interested. He LOVED it! I would praise Daddy and he would praise me. Just as if we were training. That worked for us.💙 We would take Danny’s #2 from his diaper and put it in the potty (while he was watching) to show him that that was where it should go. We waved, “Bye-bye!” Did our treat dance down the hallway and literally obnoxiously jumped for joy. By the end of summer 2019 he was doing great! However; it was time to get back to school. How would school know when he has to go? I was so scared that we would regress.

Fortunately, his amazing teacher has potty images all around the room and they taught Danny to grab a photo and bring it to teacher when he had to go. Going #1 on the potty was a breeze for Danny because they would take the kids every so often; however when it was time for #2 Danny showed no interest in communicating it. So of course he had his accidents but by Sept 27, 2019 he had successfully communicated through picture exchange to a teacher and went #2 on the potty! At this point we were officially out of diapers and Mommy and Daddy were in awe!

I could go on about how proud I am of Danny and how far he has come but I want to stick to what he continues to teach me every day. No matter where your child is with communication, with milestones, or socially with other children; you cannot compare them to others. They are unapologetically themselves. Hold onto hope. Never stop pushing your child to succeed. Never stop fighting for the services your child needs. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Yes. 🙏💙

And please please please, remember they have feelings too. They are aloud to be sad, angry, happy, scared, etc. Point out their emotions while its happening. Instead of telling them “you are okay” or “stop crying”… just comfort them. Tell them you understand their emotion and why. Talk it out. Believe me I know it’s hard. To keep talking when you feel like nobody is listening but even though they may not respond to your words they most definitely hear you and they more than likely understand what your saying as well (without you even realizing).

For the people outside of the autism journey; just because an autistic child does not speak does not mean that they do not understand you. It does not mean that they are stupid. It does not mean they dont sense change or body language. THEY ARE VERY OBSERVANT. Our son Daniel actually has a memory like I’ve never seen before. He will watch a movie one time and then next time he watches it, he will mock scenes before they happen. Its incredible.

Even though most of the world is self isolating at home I ask of you to wear blue today to spread awareness for those on the spectrum. I ask you please to educate yourself and your children about special needs kids. Even though they may not seem interested, they yearn for friendships just like typical children. Say hi, dont stare, encourage inclusion, and most importantly dont speak or treat them any different than you would a typical child.

We love you Danny boy 🧩